What he said, what he heard
by Spooky2
Summary: Basically what the title says. The pilots say something but they hear it differently. My very first fic. ^_^ Please R&R!
1. An OZ prison

What he said, what he heard  
  
Okay this is my very, I mean very first fic. Basically it's what the title says. The Gundam pilots say something but they each hear it differently. This: (***) means action. And this: *jhgj* means my comments. This is non- yaoi and non-shonen ai. Also I'm not sure which episode this is from.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. So don't sue.  
  
(Duo is thrown into the OZ dungeon) What Heero said: Heero: Botched you're mission. You couldn't destroy the base and you couldn't eliminate Dr. J and the others.  
  
What Duo heard: Heero: You screwed up, you baka. Now Dr. J is still running around in his under wear. God, you're such a moron.  
  
What Duo said: Duo: How 'bout a little sympathy? In any case I'm still glad I decided to come here. I've got good news, (looks at Wufei) your Gundam and mine are being rebuilt as we speak ya know. I can hardly wait until they're done.  
  
What Heero heard: Duo: I know I'm a moron, don't rub it in. *sorry Duo fans! * I can't believe I came here for you idiots. But (looks at Wufei) our Gundams are being rebuilt. I'm so excited! I'll get to see Deathsythe again! I think I'm gonna wet myself!  
  
What Heero said: Heero: Looks like OZ'll be keeping us alive for a while. It's a good chance so don't die yet.  
  
What Duo heard: Heero: Looks like OZ needs us. So don't die. I need you to keep Relena off my ass. *no offence to Relena lovers*  
  
What Duo said: Duo: Don't worry about me pal. I have no intention of dyin' that easily. There's the colonies to fight for. Just watch me I'll become the God of Death once more! But right now.I need some sleep.  
  
What Heero heard: Duo: Don't worry. Only you can kill me. *no shonen ai intended* Besides the colonies need to be defended. Since they can't seem to fight for themselves. Soon I'll be the God of Death again! But, God I need some sleep.  
  
(The cell doors open) OZ soldier: Get out zero one.  
  
What Duo said: Duo: Come on how come him again. I'm a better pilot than zero one is ya know; let me take care of the next battle.  
  
What they heard: Duo: (In a whiney voice) Why can't I go. He always gets to go. I'm a much better pilot than any of you. Let me go blow stuff up.  
  
What Trowa said: Trowa: You can't do it in your shape. Even a skilled Gundam pilot runs the risk of being destroyed. (Takes a couple steps) Because it's a Gundam pilot you'll be fighting.  
  
What they heard: Trowa: You got so beaten up you're going to die anyway. You'll probably fall asleep in the middle of the battle. (Takes a couple steps) Besides you're fighting a Gundam pilot you'll get blown up anyway.  
  
Wufei: What?  
  
What Trowa said: Trowa: Apparently it's a new model. (Heero hmms) He wiped out a whole OZ division with one suit.  
  
What they heard: Trowa: It's a brand new one. (Heero hmms) He's blown up a lot of stuff.  
  
What Heero said: Heero: What are it's characteristics and weapons?  
  
What they heard: Heero: What and how much did it blow up?  
  
What Trowa said: Trowa: The engineers asked the same questions, that shows that you're familiar with them.  
  
What they heard: Trowa: Dr. J asked the same questions, wow you guys have a lot in common.  
  
What Heero said: Heero: Okay, lets go. With that red one, the Mercurious, this should prove to be quite a fight.  
  
What they heard: Heero: God, not again. But at least I get to pilot the Mercurious, damn this'll be a hard fight.  
  
What Trowa said: Trowa: You're coming like it or not.  
  
What they heard: Trowa: Quite your whining and lets go.  
  
What Duo said: Duo: And you'll just stand back and watch as the two Gundam pilots fight each other. (Stands up) Hey! Zero one! Don't do it! It's probably a suit performance test!  
  
What they heard: Duo: And you'll just sit back and relax as they destroy each other. (Stands up) Hey! Zero one! Go for it! Since I can't go you might as well die!  
  
What Trowa said: Trowa: (Hits Duo) (Duo groans) You guys just better keep quiet there. You'll get your turn eventually.  
  
What they heard: Trowa: (Hits Duo) (Duo groans) Shut up braided baka. I won't let you go if you don't keep quiet.  
  
(Trowa, Heero and the two OZ soldiers walk out of the room) (Duo moans and the door closes)  
  
What Wufei said: Wufei: I. don't think that guy was acting. We have to assume that he really has betrayed us.  
  
What Duo heard: Wufei: Did it really hurt when he hit you? I can't believe he betrayed us. That's injustice!  
  
What Duo said: Duo: We don't need to worry about that. He's one guy we can trust.  
  
What Wufei heard: Duo: Hey just take it easy. We can trust him.  
  
What Wufei said: Wufei: What makes you so sure?  
  
What Duo heard: Wufei: Have you gone insane?! He just hit you!  
  
(Duo turns on a portable hologram device) (Wufei hmms)  
  
What Duo said: Duo: (chuckles) Because no traitor's gonna bring us a gift like this that so much thoughts been put into.  
  
What Wufei heard: Duo: (chuckles) Because no traitor's gonna just hand me such a nice gift. And it's hand held!  
  
What Wufei said: Wufei: Hey that's."  
  
What Duo heard: Wufei: What the?!"  
  
(Trowa's voice is heard on the device)  
  
What Trowa said: Trowa: Duo Maxwell and Wufei Chang, this was given to me by Master O. Use it to pass time.  
  
What they heard: Trowa: Braided Boy and Justice Boy, this was given to me by that dope O. Keep it hidden from the guards!  
  
What Wufei said: Wufei: Son of a gun. Hn.  
  
What Duo heard: Wufei: He finally served justice.  
  
What Duo said: Duo: Right?  
  
What Wufei heard: Duo: Yeah really.  
  
So whatch' think? Good? Bad? Lame? I'll do more if any one wants. I am a girl if you're wondering. Also I'd like to thank my sister (The Goddess of Death) for helping me with these ideas. Just something we thought would be funny. Oh and baka means stupid, idiot ect. Please R&R! 


	2. The Hilde incident

What he said, what he heard Part 2

Okay first of all I would like to thank lady kaori. She was the very first reviewer on my very first fic. So, thank you very much! This chapter's for you! I was so psyched when I saw her review! So I'm a little crazy, it runs in the family.

Okay second order of business, like the first chapter I don't know what episode this is from. It's like 22 or something. If anyone knows please tell me! Also I only saw the edited version, Cartoon network version. If anyone's wondering I do NOT write yaoi or yuri OR shonen ai, read it sometimes, but don't write it. So don't ask. 

Thirdly I've only seen 8 episodes and Endless Waltz. Well I've seen more but I only have 8 handy. Fourthly I can only update on Friday and Saturday (don't ask). Our other computer doesn't have the internet (yet!).

Fifthly does anyone know how to spell Hilde's last name? I spelled it like it sounds, but I know that's wrong. So if you know how to spell it please tell me!

Well I've kept you long enough. On with the show! Oh! Also I don't own Gundam Wing.

The Hilde Incident 

What Duo said:

Duo: (is sitting at a table listening to a radio) What? It was them who planted the fears of war in you in the first place.

What Hilde heard:

Duo: Oh, go to hell. You guys are scared and you know it.

What Hilde said:  
Hilde: That's not true. The colonies have suffered a history of humiliation, up till now. We aren't afraid of any battles that will allow the colonies to pick themselves up.

What Duo heard:

Hilde: That's not true! No one's scared. The colonies have been humiliated enough. We're fighting to help them. We'll probably die in the process. But we're not afraid.

What Duo said:

Duo: Who are you?

What Hilde heard:  
Duo: What a babe! What's your name?

What Hilde said:

Hilde: My name is Hilde Shpiker. I volunteered my services from this colony.   

What Duo heard:  
Hilde: My name is Hilde can't pronounce my last name. I work for OZ.

What Duo said:  
Duo: Oh I get it; you're an OZ soldier.  

What Hilde heard:

Duo: Oh dear God not another one!

What Hilde said:  
Hilde: It's easy for anyone to criticize. The work of the colony students speaks for itself. Our volunteer work at the Lunar plant best reflects our faith in OZ. Keep that in mind. 

What Duo heard:

Hilde: Make fun all you want. The colony students are doing their best. But I think that we're doing a great job. We have faith in OZ. If you don't approve, then stick your head in a bucket of ice.

What Duo said:

Duo: Wow. Is that so? Then maybe I should apply as well. 

What Hilde heard:

Duo: Give me a break. But maybe I should apply just to see if you guys are really as good as you say you are.

What Hilde said:  
Hilde: (hands Duo a paper) (Duo hmms) the next military exam is in one week. Hey! Why don't you give it a try if you like.

What Duo heard:

Hilde: (hands Duo a paper) (Duo hmms) drop by in a week. That's when the exam is. It's pretty tough, but I think you'll pass. 

Duo: (Hilde walks away) (Duo chuckles) Count on it baby, I'll be there.

In a docking bay at the colony, Hilde is talking with a soldier. Duo is at a checkpoint. He has a duffle bag with him.

What Duo said:  
Duo: Here you go sir. (Hands him a paper) (Soldier looks at it then at Duo) Oookaay. Have a nice day. (Duo takes it back and walks away)

What Hilde heard:

Duo: Here's my ultra cool application. (hands him a paper) (soldier looks at it then at Duo) Oookaay. Later dude. (Duo takes it back and walks away)

What Hilde said:  
Hilde: Hey you! Stop right there! I know you!

What Duo heard:  
Hilde: Hey! Braided boy stop! Oh God! Not you! 

What Duo said:  
Duo: What is it? Did you want something?

What Hilde heard:  
Duo: What? Couldn't leave without a goodbye kiss?

What Hilde said:  
Hilde: I told you that new volunteers are to apply next week. I want you to let me look at that application.

What Duo heard:  
Hilde: I told you to drop by next week. Was that too late? I think that application's fake. Let me see it.

What Duo said:  
Duo: Oh this. It's all filled out. But it's a fake! (he throws the bag at Hilde)

What Hilde heard:  
Duo: You mean this? I filled it out. But it's a fake! (he throws the bag at Hilde)

The bag whizzes past Hilde. She falls to the floor.

What Hilde said:  
Hilde: Uhn! You scum!

What Duo heard:  
Hilde: Uhn! You ass!

What Duo said:  
Duo: (he jumps up) Comin' in! (hits an OZ soldier near a mobile suit) Gagh! 

What Hilde heard:

Duo: (he jumps up) Aaaaiiiiiiii!!!!!! (hits an OZ soldier near a mobile suit) Ugh!

The OZ soldier floats out with just his underclothes on.

OZ soldier: He's takin' the Leo! After him! 

Hilde gasps.

Mahahahahah! What will happen next?! Stay tuned to find out! Please R&R! The first reviewer of this chapter gets chapter 3 dedicated to them! Reviews will be celebrated and flames will be considered then used to roast marshmallows for my sisters and to heat my cold care tea. (I hate being sick #__#) Oh yeah! I'd like to thank my muses, Jenny, Vixy, and Chibi scythe-wielding bat Duo. You guys are the best! 


	3. The Hilde Incident Part 2

The Hilde Incident Part 2

Okay this chapter is dedicated to Nikoyro Kaoru, the first reviewer of chapter 2. I hope everyone likes this. Sorry about not getting it up sooner. I don't own Gundam Wing. Just my crazy muses.

Chibi scythe wielding bat Duo: What do you mean crazy?!! I am not crazy! I'm shinigami!! (Swings scythe above head) Mahahahha!!  

VJ: I rest my case.

Jenny: On with the show!

What Duo said:

Duo: (is inside a mobile suit) Everyone stay calm! I don't wanna start firing this thing inside the colony! (Backs out) 

What Hilde heard:

Duo: (is inside a mobile suit) Stop running around like idiots! I don't wanna shoot. But if I have to, I have to! (Backs out) 

What Hilde said:

Hilde: You won't get away! (Jumps up)

What Duo heard:

Hilde: Hey! You didn't give me a good-bye kiss! (Jumps up)

What Duo said:

Duo: (flies out of the colony) My ultimate goal is to destroy the Lunar plant. But it's just to far away from here. (Someone shoots at him) Hmm?

What Hilde heard:

Duo: (flies out of the colony) I've gotta blow up some stuff on the moon. But I could get my ass shot down on the way. (Someone shoots at him) What the?!

What Hilde said:

Hilde: Stop right there! (Flies towards Duo still shooting)

What Duo heard:

Hilde: What do you think you're doing?! (Flies towards Duo still shooting)

What Duo said:

Duo: It's her again. Mmmm. (stats shooting at her)

What Hilde heard:

Duo: What? Not again. Grrr. (stats shooting at her) 

What Hilde said:

Hilde: (dodging Duo's fire) If you choose to retaliate, I'll have to destroy you! 

What Duo heard:

Hilde: (dodging Duo's fire) Surrender before I blow you outta the sky!

What Duo said:

Duo: warning shots are meaningless from those who've never even battled!

What Hilde heard:

Duo: I'm the God of Death! You'll never destroy me!! Mahahahahaha!!!!!!

What Hilde said:

Hilde: This one's for the peace of the colony!

What Duo heard:

Hilde: Here's one for peace, you weirdo!

What Duo said:

Duo: Hmmm. Hang on a second here. I'm fighting for the peace of the colony as well.

What Hilde heard:

Duo: What?! I'm not a weirdo, you are! And Hey! I'm fighting for peace too!

What Hilde said:

Hilde: (shoots and hits Duo) Got 'em.

What Duo heard:

Hilde: (shoots and hits Duo) Sweet!

OZ ship flies out of the colony.

OZ soldier: We'll move in until it's within range.

They lock onto Duo.

OZ commander: Good! Fire!

OZ soldier: Sir!

What Duo said:

Duo: Hey! We're both fighting for the colonies, right? Well then how is it we've become enemies?

What Hilde heard:

Duo: Wait! We're both fighting for peace, right? So lets stop fighting and go on a date.

What Hilde said: 

Hilde: Pleading for your life! (Hits Duo with mobile suit fist then the other one)

What Duo heard:

Hilde: Get a life! (Hits Duo with mobile suit fist then the other one)

What Duo said:

Duo: I'm tellin' ya you and I aren't enemies!

What Hilde heard:

Duo: Come on! You know you like me!

What Hilde said:

Hilde: I volunteered and I pledge my loyalty. I'm prepared to die at any time.

What Duo heard:

Hilde: I'm an OZ soldier. I don't go on dates with weirdoes who blow crap up.  

What Duo said:

Duo: You're so intense it makes me sick! 

What Hilde heard:

Duo: That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard!

OZ ship starts shooting.

What Duo said: 

Duo: Hmm? Get outta here! (Gets hit) Gahh! (Continues to get hit) Unnn… (The OZ ship continues to fire)

What Hilde heard:

Duo: The hell? Move it! (Gets hit) Aaaiiiii! (Continues to get hit) Ooww… (The OZ ship continues to fire)

VJ: Well that's the end of that chapter. I hope it made everyone happy.

CSWB Duo: You couldn't make Relena happy! 

Jenny: -_-;

Vixy: -_-;

CSWB Duo: =p

VJ: sick 'em Jenny!

CSWB Duo: O.O    

Jenny: Die!!!!! (Leaps at CSWB Duo)

CSWB Duo: Aaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!! (Runs like hell)

VJ: Also check out my bio if you want to know why I couldn't post this sooner.

Vixy: Till next time! Please review!


End file.
